The Lady
Hliðskjálf - Hlid "to stand beside one" + skjálf "bench or shelf" : a name for the seat of Odin, whence he looked out over all the worlds. (The Bench beside us)
Hildisvíni - Hlid "to stand beside one" + Svíni "swine" : The Boar that Freyja rides. (The Boar beside us)
The Lady
“All I want is for you to be a Lady!!”
My mother cried as I stood with mud drying
On my brand new Easter Dress.
My grandfather had sent me a book on ancient tribes
So I believed myself a Kalahari Bushman
And bathed myself in mud, found myself a spear
And jumped and hollered my war cry
To my mother on Easter morning.
I learned clicking songs and I tried to spear the dogs.
I sang songs to ancient savage war Gods
And declared that trees were my best friends.
I was wild and untamed and all my mother wanted
Was a little Lady she could show off at church.
Slowly, because I was a child, and
I wanted the love of my parents,
I abandoned my wild past.
I learned manners and how to listen to others
I learned that it’s better to lie and be nice
Than to tell the truth.
I learn to be demure and to manipulate
I learned to always tell a man how amazing he is.
I learned my place.
Yet, I always felt the wildness inside, like an ancient
Lioness pacing behind my eyes.
I craved to fight, to run, to climb trees
I would watch the boys at school,
Not because I like them, but
Because I wanted to fight them.
I fantasized about so many fights!
And no matter how civilized I tried to be
All the girls knew I was faking.
They knew I was not civilized.
They could tell I lusted for blood.
That I craved adventure and I didn’t care for their games.
My mother thought she had finally got a Lady,
But I knew that the moment I left home
I would be a Lady no more.
Yet, all those years of self-deception weighed on me
And my adult years has been long in
Peeling off those layers of unrest
And self-sabotaging neurotic habits.
Slowly, I allowed my wild side to rise
And link by link I began to
Break the fetters on the lioness inside.
And when Odin came and loved me
Telling me I was his Lady, I laughed.
There was no way Freyja would love me.
I was too ugly. Too wild. Too untamed.
I would pray to the bright Lady,
But I always felt like an ungainly wild girl,
Much like I do in front of my mother.
I apologized for being me.
And slowly, Odin brought women into my life
One loving heart at a time
And these priestesses of Freyja showed me
That Wild was beautiful
That savage was powerful
That I was lovable.
These women taught me that Odin stands
On the Bench that is beside us,
Where he watches the world.
And Freyja rides the boar that rides
Beside us, accompanying us through thick and through thin.
For she is a lady of the heart
And loves all those who love life itself.
She sees passion as virtue
And heart-strength as the greatest of shields
Her songs are sung with feeling
And bring us to empathize with the whole tribe
And when we gaze on her, she gazes back
And we are whole again.
It is said she loves the songs sung by a romantic
Even if those love songs are of battle
And she values every woman
Who has the courage to be her own self
And slowly she revealed herself to me
Her love filled me with fervor I’ve never known
And I now see her as she rides beside me
Even as I’m covered in mud.
So now, I take on her mantle
And become like those priestesses who loved me
Those brave Godly women who shouted
“Be who you are!”
And now I share the love of Freyja
With the wildness that is in me
And I can tell the young women,
Who may have forgotten themselves
“It’s ok, My Love, you’re perfect.
The Gods want you to go play in the mud. “
- Christina Marvel
